In 1976, when I
left the Army and the 75th Infantry Rangers, I felt
like an astronaut on a weird, alien planet. Since
1976, in fifteen years, I’ve had fifteen jobs, with
none of them having a happy ending. In all that
time, I thought I didn’t have a problem. I felt
the rest of the world had the problem and they were
out of sync with me. My wife and kids heard me say
a million times, “I’ve out lived my time and I’ve
out lived my kind.” I did not know it, but I was in
a deep depression and suffering from something I
could not put my finger on. In 1994, one of my
Ranger buddies committed
suicide while he was
serving with the 10th Special Group (Airborne). If
Ranger Joe could not stay alive while serving with
SF, what was I going to do? Ranger Joe’s
death sent
me into a dark downward spiral. After putting up
with many years of my dangerous self-destructive
life style, which had now taken a turn for the
worse, my wife convinced me to get some help. I was
admitted to the Trauma Recovery Program (TRP) at our
VA Medical Center where I was diagnosed with
Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder. Great, what the fuck is PTSD? A label to hang on my head saying that I was
fucked-up? Just what I really needed! But, it was at
TRP that I met a man who probably saved my life. My
wife had done her best to try saving me many times,
but she did not have the tools to help me. TRP’s Dr.
Batte helped me cut through many years of shit and
was able to hand me a thread of hope.
While I was in The
Program, one night during a violent thunderstorm, I
sat smoking a cigar and drinking a beer, reliving a
past life experience. I still felt out of sorts. I
was angry, frustrated and confused. I felt
dysfunctional! On a piece of paper, I wrote in big
giant bold letters, “Dysfunctional Veteran-Leave Me
Alone!” At first, it was meant as a warning, but as
time went by, I started to laugh at my own words.
Today, I hide in my “Hobbit Hole” and sell a few
t-shirts, a Kilroy
challenge coin, a patch, hat and
other Dysfunctional Veteran accoutrements. I use
Kilroy peeking out of a foxhole because he looks
like how I feel.
Dysfunctional
Veteran sales help to keep me busy and out of my
wife’s hair.
Your best bet, buy from a dysfunctional vet!
Dysfunctional Veteran-Leave Me Alone:
As John Boswell once said, “Blessed is he who has
learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never
cease to be entertained.”
Thanks for
your support -
Ranger Andy
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